Forever.

For the past few years, it was always a tradition to dedicate a post to my beloved dog, Ruffy, every 1st Oct. I dont know why I did it. Maybe at that time, I still couldn't accept his death. I could burst into tears anytime, (usually only in front of my family.), at the most awkward situations. Yes ask why would a girl get so affected over a animal's death even after so long. Yeah it may be strange. But he wasn't an animal to me. The bond/relationship we had together was different. 

This death was the first death I encountered which actually hit me. Hit me how death was even scarier then I thought. Not to the one dying, but to the ones left behind living. Living with fond memories of the passed away, helpless. You're only left with the memories, and nothing you can do, no matter how much you cry, how much money you have, it wont help. 

I wanted to reverse time. To spend more time with him, to pet him more, to play more of catching the ball when he was still young. I had regrets, tons of them. Cause I never knew that he would leave. I took it for granted. I lived in denial whenever people mentioned "you know one day he'll die right?" and I ll just go "hahah no way. no way. never gonna let him die." Never gonna let him die? How silly of me. 

I regretted getting distracted with other stuffs while growing up. Going out to meet fake friends, using the computer on msn waiting for some people to talk to me, idk you name it. Those stupid stuffs. But there's nothing I can do anymore. 

I gotta admit, memories of my dear Ruffy is not that strong anymore. Unconsciouly, I start to forget him as the days go by. I feel him sinking deeper, deeper into the hidden corner of my brain. And I try to dig up those memories sometimes but yet its blurry. Sometimes it scares me ALOT how I am beginning to forget him. But I know that I loved him and always will. He will always be the dog who was always there for me, through the good and bad times, through my childhood to now. And to the future. 

So instead of the 1st Oct, I am doing this yearly post on the last day of October. 

11:53pm. 

Forever and always. 

(for you, its not a lie.) 

2012: http://daisyponies.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/a-letter-01-october-2012.html

The last day of October.

Acceptance

There are things I miss

that I shouldnt,

and things I dont

that I should. 

Sometimes we want 

what we couldnt',

sometimes we love

who we could

-Lang Leav

Skype Sessions

I couldnt be any happier. 

10 Random Stupid Facts

1. I hate avocado and all forms of raw tomatoes which are sadly good for health. But I just cant seem to ever swallow them since young. However, I love things with the processed versions of tomato or anything with tomato ketchup. 

2. Cause I hate avocados and raw vegetables, I make sure I take them out from every meal (e.g. burgers, sushi rolls.) Btw, I'll just use my fingers to pluck them out digustingly. And I refuse to tell the people to not serve the vegetables cause I think that my meal would not look complete without them. 

3. I am extremely particular about my stationery. Especially ballpoint pens. They must be of a certain colour (THAT dark blue which few people understand what I mean.) And I always have a hard time looking for them at stationery shops cause I have to try all the ballpoint pens there. But idk why, I seem to like those free kind of pens from the hotel. They always seem to be of the right colour. 

4. I never ever drink hot drinks. Unless I am forced to or have no choice. Most of the drinks I drink are all cold. 

5. I have trouble focusing. I can't seem to focus on something for more than 10-15 minutes. (Unless its something like shopping or what.) 

6. I almost drowned in Sentosa before (Palawan beach I think?) Thus my mom is always very against me/worried when I go to the beach to swim, especially sentosa. 

7. I dont like to step on the sea bed when I am in the sea cause I always have this thinking that the crab will pinch my toes. When I was young, I would cling onto my dad and he would have to piggyback me in the water. 

8. I started learning how to rollerblade at around 2+? We had just came back from america I think and my sisters had gotten roller blades from there. I saw and insisted I wanted a pair and my dad had to bring me around the neighbourhood everyday to teach me how to rollerblade. (well, I dont have much memories about it, but this was told to me by my family. I still remember those rollerblades though. They were black and purple.) Thats why I can ice skate (by ice skate, i mean not fall down) now and I enjoy it alot! 

9. I talk super loudly and have been super whiny since young till its become a habit I do unconsciously. 

10. Once I warm up to someone, I can just talk non-stop. But if I am not familiar with you, I'll be super quiet and alot of people who didn't know me well before thought I was very stuck up. Then after they known me longer, they cant get me to stop talking. Hahhahahhahaha. 

Sigh I am just weird like that. 

A Meaningful Cause

Instead of complaining of having nothing to do, or thinking of which new skincare/bag to buy, I've decided that time could be spent on a much more meaningful cause which helps me do my part. The world may be filled with lots of evil people but that doesn't mean that you need to be one of them. 

www.causes.com 

I have heard of this campaign/petition website for awhile but recently received a email from them again. It probably came at the right timing since these days I've been trying to do something more for myself, for my life. 

So this is my profile! 

I just posted on instagram one to support "Stop the terrible practice of eating dogs in China". 

The petition still needs about 1/2 million more signs and put social media to good use, SPREAD THE WORD and SIGN THE PETITION!!! 

https://www.causes.com/v2actions/1665543-nobody-touch-the-dog-stop-dog-cruelty-and-tortures-in-china 

Addressed to the President of the European Commission Mr. Manuel Barroso and Mr. Barack Obama to officialy ask to the Chinese government to stop this brutal practice of eating dog meat, and to immediately end the terrible tortures which the DOGS are subjected in China. 

You can also join the FB page for more strength and international weight!! 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/nobody.touch.the.dog/

(*p.s. this is not a advert.) 

27 Oct 2013

"He offered her the world. She said she had her own." 

Makeup, Made-up.

I am a total makeup junkie. The amount of makeup I have in my room (be it australia, or singapore) is probably enough to last me a whole lifetime. But yet, I cant stop buying!! I would go google and read reviews of new foundations, read up on them, and if I see one that sounds/looks convincing, I would never hesistate to buy despite having many many more that are barely finished. Thats also why I hardly finish my foundations. Plus, even with ONE foundation, its already very hard to finish it, if you know what I mean. 

I've never really done a proper makeup tutorial cause of many reasons. 

1. I dont enjoy doing vlogs but I like watching other's vlog. 

2. I always switch around between my makeup!!! I hardly stay to one for a long period. 

Thats why its very hard. And if you ask me to name which one is the best, its also hard to do so cause different foundations serve different needs under different circumstances!!! 

Thus I decided to do take photos of part of my makeup stash in OZ land. Or at least the more recent ones I've been using and feel is not bad! 

*YES AND I KNOW MY MAKEUP IS VERY DIRTY*

Makeup Base:

(Nars Primer for Eyes, Biore UV Perfect Face Milk, MAC Prep+Prime with SPF, Avene Thermal Spring Water.)

Foundations: 

(Laneige BB Cushion, Makeup Forever Pro Finish, Loreal Lumi Magique Foundation, MAC Studio Fix, Rimmel Wake Me Up Foundation, Chanel Mat Lumiere)

Mascaras: 

(Dollywink Volume Mascara, Maybelline Mega Plush Volume Express, Maybelline The Falsies Volume Express, Loreal False Lash Telescopic, Maybelline Illegal Length, Benefit Bad  Gal Lash.)

Eyebrows:

(MAC Transparent Fixing Brow Gel, Canmake Eyebrow Liquid, Benefit Gimme Brows, Maybelline Master Shape, Silkygirl Eyebrow Pencil, Styling W Brow.)

Blush: 

(Bourjois Blusher 33 & 37, Urban Decay Bronzer, Benefit Bella Bamba, Benefit Hervana, Benefit Dandelion, Benefit Hoola, Mac Pet me, 3CE Blush.)  

Eyeliner:

(Sephora Doe Eyed Liner, Dollywink Liquid Liner, 3CE Liquid Eyeliner.)

HOPE THIS HAS HELPED YOU. :) 

24 Oct 2013

Life these days seems to be in such a rush. Everything just flies by without us actually experiencing it, feeling it. Time to slow down and enjoy our surroundings. To appreciate is an acquired skill. 

Nightmare

This all seems like a nightmare 

Except that in this nightmare, 

I am having another nightmare. 

I can't sleep. 

Books

my iBooks collection currently:

Am an extremely pleased girl with my book collection in my iBooks. Finally putting the awesomeness of ebooks to good use after being an iphone user for so long. I have never been the IT savvy person since young and it has always been my eldest sister who has been guiding me all this while. Any problems I encounter on the computer or phone, I ll just WA her immediately "Help dajie!!!". What a horrible sister I am. 

Like just now, I stupidly purchased a book on Angus&Robertson.com.au cause I was way too desperate for the book "Love and Misadventure" so I decided to rashly click on the buy ebook button without even having any experience with ebooks. Sighh. And guess what, I had problems even downloading the file at first. After much hassle, I managed to email myself the file but the version they sent me couldnt be opened in my iBooks, somehow. 

Thank God for for my dajie I managed to get it all settled in the end! And on top of that, she helped me get even more books and emailed me all her John Green books. Bwahahahhah. 

*Huge face of mine below*

*I bet you all didnt know, but I actually have a mole on the left side of my mouth but its usually covered with my foundation so its barely visible. Or most ppl will probably just think its dirt or something.* 

A Dangerous Recipe 

To love him

is something,

I hold highly

suspicious

Like having something,

so very delicious-

then being told, 

to do the dishes.

-Lang Leav

I am sure I am not the only person out there who can relate to this poem. The risk you take. Is it true that its better to have loved than not to love? 

♡

JoJo's

Seafood Risotto 

Fettucine Carbonara

Till the next time~

"Have you ever noticed that humans have made it so difficult and complicated to “survive” in this world? It’s a vicious cycle. You go to school, and try really hard, so that you can get into a good college, and then you try really hard at college to get a good job, and then you try really hard at your job, so you can make money. And then your kids do the same thing. And everyone just keeps on doing this and no one even stops to think WHY they’re doing it any more. Everyone just does it because it’s what you’re supposed to do. And like, before, when the human race had just started, the goal was to just SURVIVE. People just lived. I mean, that’s what really matters, right? Survival. Because after you die, it doesn’t matter what college you went to." -Annonymous

18 Oct 2013

"I spent my entire life trying to capture the decisive moment. But every moment in life was the decisive moment." -Henry Cartier-Bresson

That fluttery feeling, feeling of puppy love. The constant checking of phone all the time to check if you have any messages, the urge to text the person so badly yet you want to control yourself so badly. How time passes so quickly when you're with each other and no amount of time seems enough while you both are together. fretting over what to wear, makeup to put before meeting the person in real life. is my makeup too thick? would this dress be overdoing it? would this seem too casual and heck-care? tossing and turning in bed all night, unable to sleep cause your mind keeps running on about you and him. smiling at your phone unconsciously without even realising it till your friends make fun of you. 

Its been a long time since I've felt all these. Maybe it sounds too secondary school or childish. But i miss those feelings and am jealous of those who feel them. Sometimes I wanna experience these feelings all over again, yet I constantly remind myself, maybe its cause its been such a long time since such stuff, that I am no longer that sappy emotional kid, moaping over some guy and being all miserable and heartbroken. 

17 Oct 2013

16 Oct 2013: Progress

As cliche as it may sound, but in the twinkling of an eye, I've already been here in OZland for almost close to 1.5 years. Looking back, it was definitely not as fast as I said it. I remember long sleepless nights here, watching the clock tick by and wondering how I was gonna survive for another one week before getting back home for the holidays. Or perhaps days where I cried non stop while walking home in the cold and dark cause I just felt so lost. 

Well I've definitely moved on from that crying terribly homesick stage 4 phase and I am glad I did. It would be a lie to say that I dont miss home at all now but its much better. I am adapting better and am glad for my momma who always flies over to accompany me (BTW, she's here this time cause she didn't want me to take a taxi back alone from the airport cause she thought it was dangerous so she secretly went to book tickets to fly back with me.)

Many people asked me why didn't I go to a more bustling city or the UK? Definitely less boring and more lively. Well, of all the many universities, I have no idea why I ended up with this one too. (Perhaps a small percentage of it is cause of my stupid GPA and the guy at IDP who was my academic counsellor there.) I had heard of how terribly boring this place was, no shopping etc (UK has Primark, Topshop), yet I still stuck to it. Of course, I definitely have some regrets coming here. There's no gongcha here??! 

I secretly felt that (well, its not much of a secret anymore) there was a reason this university was mentioned and how it caught my attention, etc. Like there was this thing pulling me towards it? Like I always said like how things always happen for a reason? I chose to believe that my dear daddy God up there had an awesome plan for me in this university or maybe not a plan, but reasons for sending me to this ghost town which I absolutely kinda hate. 

Though I am still not sure of this reason or great plan he has for me despite 1.5 years into my course, I still have lots of time to discover it and am definitely on my way there, closer and closer with every step. Or actually, I've already learnt a few lessons here... 

Well if you can't already guess, I have this love-hate relationship with this place. I claim to hate how boring it is yet whenever I get back to bustling singapore, I start to miss my carefree easy boring life here. If you look at it logically though, there isn't much to hate here. But yes, I still dislike it sometimes. 

15 Oct 2013

Hehehe I am still very much into my minion cover and I am not planning to change it anytime soon. 

13 Oct 2013

Dinner @ Wara Wara. 

My momma's the cutest ever. 

California Roll ^ 

The vulgar dish: Sukiyaki Nabe ^ 

Headed to Hazel Tea afterwards to dabao some desserts back.

My momma is forever playing games on her iphone. She can play it anywhere, even while shopping and I am trying clothes in the changing room. She is ADDICTED, definitely.

OOTD.

(Denim top from Valleygirl, Accessories from Sportsgirl, Pandora, Thomas Sabo, Bag from Blogshoppin @ FEP.)