9:19pm in bed.

I'm feeling terribly upset. At this point, I wanna give up do badly but I can't. Part of me is this hopeless heartless girl who pushes every nice person away yet the other part of me still believes that things will change overnight, that things may just turn out the way I played the scenarios out in my head. And I know the only way to stop this awful feeling is to really actually stop wanting all these so badly. Yet, I can't stop myself.