1:29pm September 6

9:39PM, 31 August :
And tonight I've got this crazy thought it my head. I just wanna book my airtickets back to singapore for perhaps later or maybe tomorrow. Then when I wake up its back to my old life. Mommy picks me up from photoshoot and we head to a nice japanese restaurant or maybe even wisma food court which I haven't been since it was renovated. After that, we take a walk around orchard, go to the shops I frequent. Buy a awfully chocolate cake to eat on the way back home. Zara greets me when I step out of the car and daddy is sitting at his usual chair reading his newspaper. I don't have to see my parents through a bloody computer screen. When I am sad, I know my mom will always have a REAL hug to give me and not through the phone. I can help my sister with her preparations for the wedding and not need her to ask for my suggestions through sending me a photo on whatsapp.

Fuck all the dishwashing, fire alarms which keep ringing and drunkards on the streets yelling at the top of their voices. I don't have to clear the rubbish bin anymore and not worry about having nothing to eat or being late cause I took too long to walk to school. I don't have to worry about washing my own clothes or having to climb up the damn hill while walking to school. I don't have to take the bus anymore or go home at 6pm cause the bloody shops close around that time. I can go out with my good friends and have fun partying or doing any other thing instead of staying in this fucking room for almost two weekends now. I don't have to watch downloaded movies on my computer and end up crying both about the movie and my life now. Everything I hate doing here, FUCK YOU, YOU AND YOU. I never want to see you again. _|_

and instead of ending of with a "see you again" or something around that line, i ll probably choose to end off with a "fuck off forever and ever. you re out of my life eternally. lots of middle fingers as a goodbye gift from yours truly."

Anyway, last week was just plain horrible. I wanted to just give up everything here and just leave. My parents didnt reallly know about what I was feeling cause I didnt dare to tell them lest they worry about me. And when I finally broke down on the phone a few days later, the first thing my mom said was "You go help mommy book ticket to fly over tmr or something" and she began crying too. I thought my dad would not allow but he actually gave his full support and said alot of things like "You're my daughter. I dont want you to suffer. I ll do anything I can to make you feel better"

This made me realise how fortunate I am and how much my parents love me (which I should have realised a long time ago). It made me know how important my family is to me and how I will always have their back. Yes this may show how spoilt and pampered I am (according to the fs anons), but yknow, Im trying my best to be independant, I am learning step by step. But at least I have a family who loves me soo much and thats what matters only.